“Given the high statistical incidence of murder, police
brutality, unfortunate accidents and wrongful arrests, Kenya is undoubtedly the
most dangerous country in the world for the male British aristocrat,” says Lord
Monson.
We are drinking large gin and tonics in the drawing room of
Lord Monson’s house, overlooking a canal on the outskirts of
Stratford-upon-Avon, while discussing the death of his 28-year-old son and
heir, Alexander, in Kenya. Alexander, who had been living in Kenya with his
mother, fell unconscious in a police cell in the coastal city of Mombasa in
2012 after being arrested for smoking cannabis.
He died handcuffed to his bed in hospital the next day. Local
police claim Alexander died from a drug overdose; a post-mortem later revealed
he died from a blow to the head caused, probably, by the butt of a gun.
Lord Monson, a 61-year-old financial consultant who is
divorced from his first wife, says it’s murder and is waiting for an inquest to
be revived in Nairobi after it was postponed last July, but the legal process
in Kenya is lethargic and he could be waiting for months. He has written to
Boris Johnson urging him to use his powers as foreign secretary and intervene,
but he has yet to receive a reply.
White mischief
Meanwhile, there’s another headline-making case involving a
young British man ?in Kenya. Jack Marrian, 31, is the grandson of the 6th Earl
Cawdor and was arrested in August for alleged cocaine smuggling. He is a sugar
trader who went to Marlborough and then to Bristol University before moving to
Kenya for the British sugar company ED&F Man, and was awaiting a sugar
consignment from Brazil.
When it arrived in Mombasa, the Kenyan authorities searched
it, acting on a tip-off. They found 220 pounds of cocaine wrapped in polythene
and hidden inside bags of sugar. Jack, as head of trading for the region, was
arrested on charges of trafficking. He has since been released on bail of
£530,000 (Sh68.7 million) paid by his company. The trial began in November.
Jack, his friends and his family say he’s been set up. “I
believe the Americans and the Spanish have an investigative document which
they’ve handed to the Kenyan police detailing how the deal was done and who was
involved, and it proves Jack’s innocence,” says a British friend of Jack’s.
“But the Kenyans have refused to release this document — if there’s one thing
Kenyans hate, it’s being bullied by higher powers.”
Inevitably, both Alexander’s and Jack’s cases have revived
talk of Happy Valley and the exploits of the British expats who drank, drugged
and fornicated into oblivion from the 20s until the 40s. Heroin and morphine
were as rife as the sex, and a favourite after-dinner game saw men poke their
manhoods through a hole cut in a white sheet for guests to decide who it
belonged to.
The scene climaxed in 1941, when the Happy Valley set’s
heartbreaker-in-chief Josslyn Hay, the 22nd Earl of Erroll, was murdered in
Nairobi. By Sir Jock Delves Broughton, the husband of his latest conquest? By a
spurned lover? By MI6? Over 70 years later, there is no definitive answer,
despite various parties insisting otherwise.
The scandal spawned James Fox’s 1982 book White Mischief —
Fox concludes that Delves Broughton was behind the killing — and the film of
the same name, starring Charles Dance and a peachy-bottomed Greta Scacchi. It
also encouraged our ongoing obsession with the expat aristocrats and their
antics in Africa.
The sudden death of Tom Cholmondeley in August last year has
fuelled further reminiscing. Tom, who died, aged just 48, after a routine
hip-replacement operation in Nairobi, was the great-grandson of the original
white settler in Kenya, the 3rd Lord Delamere. Known as ‘D’ to his friends,
Lord Delamere fell in love with the country when he went there on a
lion-hunting expedition with 200 camels and 100 porters in 1891.
Chip off the old block
He promptly sold his Cheshire estate and bought 100,000 acres
of land to the north of Nairobi. He then encouraged several of his friends to
do the same, and they formed the basis of the gin-swilling Happy Valley gang,
so called because the area they colonised was in a hilly sliver of the Wanjohi
Valley, 60 miles north of Nairobi.
‘D’ once rode his horse into the Norfolk Hotel in Nairobi and
jumped the dining-room table while shooting out the lights; on another
occasion, he gave a party for 250 people who managed to drink 600 bottles of
champagne between them. Cyril Connolly referred to the ‘three As’ of the place:
alcohol, altitude and adultery.
And after visiting Kenya in the 30s, Evelyn Waugh described
the group as “a community of English squires established on the Equator”,
although even Waugh, no slouch when it came to a party, baulked at their
behaviour. He described Raymond de Trafford, one of the set, as “v. nice but so
BAD and he fights and gambles and gets D.D. [disgustingly drunk] all the time”.
On the face of it, Tom Cholmondeley looked like a chip off
the old block. He was accused of murder twice, once in 2005 after he shot an
undercover wildlife ranger on? his land and again in 2009 after he shot a
poacher. He was cleared of the first charge but convicted of manslaughter for
the second shooting and spent three years in detention. But Tom’s friends say
the real truth has yet to come out, and that while Tom might have been
eccentric, he was a good and loyal man.
“At the funeral, there was a nice bit read out by a man who
had been in Kamiti Prison with Tom,” says one friend. “And thanks to Tom’s
help, he’d qualified as a lawyer while there, and he gave a very heartfelt
tribute? to what Tom did, working on the prison’s water and electricity systems
and that sort of thing. I was really very upset by the obituaries, calling him
a relic of the colonial era. They traduced Tom.”
For all the apparent parallels with the Happy Valley set, the
truth about modern Kenya is mostly very different. What was once a bulwark of
the British Empire (from the 1880s, when the European powers began slicing and
dicing Africa, until 1963, when Kenya gained its independence from Britain) is
now a modern, thrusting country with a booming middle class and a busy capital
city where Uber Chopper has just launched a helicopter service.
Oil was discovered there in 2012, so expats are pouring in
for work, as are plenty of those in the security world, given Kenya’s ongoing
hostilities with its eastern neighbour, Somalia. Kenyan troops crossed the
country’s border with Somalia in 2011 to try and quash Al Shabaab militants and
there have been reprisals ever since, most notably the attack on Nairobi’s
Westgate Mall in 2012 and, in 2015, the attack on Garissa University in
northern Kenya, in which 148 people died.
“There are loads of posh twats here who work in security,”
says an Old Etonian who lives in Nairobi.
Mention the words “Happy Valley” to any of them, however, and
their eyes will swivel in their heads like marbles. “The cliché is as worn out
as a tyre retread down to its canvas,” says Errol Trzebinski, an 80-year-old
writer who was born in Britain and moved to Kenya when she was 18. She then
spent 12 years living on the farm that had belonged to Karen Blixen (the Danish
author of Out of Africa), before marrying a Polish aristocrat and architect who
also lived in Kenya.
“Parties spawn affairs,” Trzebinski says when I ask if
certain antics still go on today. “Generations of youngsters here have grown up
with the sort of hospitality that’s a way of life, and any stranger trekking in
out of the blue has always been invited in for the night as a matter of
course.”
All very breezy, but Trzebinski herself is embroiled in legal
matters over the death of her son, Antonio. He was found dead beside his car in
Nairobi in 2001 — an unsolved murder that has also drawn Happy Valley
comparisons because ‘Tonio’, as he was known, was also caught up in a love
triangle between his wife, Anna, and a glamorous Danish game-hunter named
Natasha Illum Berg.
Trzebinski insists that Tonio was killed by a hitman hired
by? his mother-in-law, and so a new inquest has opened; Berg and her family deny
it and say the idea they’d hire a hitman is especially preposterous because
Tonio’s mother-in-law was herself involved in a ménage à trois at the time. It
brings to mind an old joke: “Are you married, or do you live in Kenya?”
Today, there are around 30,000 Brits living in Kenya,
admittedly a very small number in a land of 45 million (although that count may
be slightly inaccurate, since many of the descendants of the original British
settlers have by now become Kenyan).
And the country retains a special link with Britain. Prince
William proposed to Kate Middleton on Mount Kenya while on holiday there in
2010, and both he and Prince Harry have holidayed at the 62,000-acre Lewa
Wildlife Conservancy, founded by the Craigs, another big British-turned-Kenyan
family. Kenya remains one of Britain’s big bilateral trading partners and is
also a country into which we pour aid — a total of £150 million (Sh19.4
billion) for the year 2016-17.
Lord Valentine Cecil is the brother of the Marquess of
Salisbury and lives in Chelsea. But he spends as much time as he can at a
Kenyan lodge north of Nairobi that he built in the 90s. It’s called Laragai
House and has eight bedrooms and a helipad. Valentine, 64, is a charming,
gung-ho Old Etonian and retired Army major who always wears a carnation in his
buttonhole - he flies himself up in a plane from Nairobi when he’s there.
“Everybody has a plane,” says Lady Tatiana Mountbatten, the
Marquess of Milford Haven’s 25-year-old daughter. A professional rider, she
trains horses on the Borana estate, which is adjacent to the Craigs’ land and
owned by the Dyers, another of the original big white settler families. Also
nearby is the Wildenstein family’s 62,000-acre estate, Ol Jogi, as well as a
ranch built by ICAP boss Michael Spencer (Tatiana’s stepfather), which another
Brit tells me is “enormous”.
Work hard, play hard
Valentine has been coming to Kenya for 46 years, “the first
time with the Army, on my way to [what was then] Rhodesia”. When he left the
Army, he bought a telecommunications business based in Nairobi.
“When I first went there, just eight years after
independence, an awful lot of the white-settler community were thinking that
this was the end and were advising their children to leave. But now, nearly
half a century on, their children and grandchildren are still there, for much
the same reasons that their parents went — they liked the life”.
There is little danger of a Zimbabwe-style land grab, he
suggests, in part because the big white-settler families stay out of Kenyan politics.
There’s a “work hard, play hard” ethos among expats, he adds, and the lifestyle
is a big draw. “You can play polo at a fraction of the cost you could at home,”
he says, before going on to laud the safaris, the game-hunting, the fishing,
the climate, the coastline and the dinner parties.
“It’s much easier to be hospitable when you have staff,” he
adds. “I asked some neighbours for dinner the week after New Year, not
realising they’d still have most of their guests staying. So I said to my cook,
‘We’re going to be 14 for dinner tomorrow night’. And then he came to see me
the next day to discuss what we would be having, and I said, ‘We’re no longer
14, Joseph. We’re 48’. Well, you can imagine saying that in England. But it
worked very well.”
The downside to modern Kenya, says Valentine, is corruption
in the police, because they’re not paid a living wage. People, he says, are
often stopped by the traffic police and forced to pay some spurious fine. And
according to Valentine, it’s this corruption that has ensnared Jack Marrian.
“As I understand it, shipping drugs in sugar has been used quite a lot in
recent years, and Mombasa is a tremendous drug-shipping point.
A lot of drugs come into the port and are sent elsewhere. The
sums of money are huge, and a local official might be paid $300 (Sh31,170) a
month. So if you go to him and say, ‘I don’t want you to look in this container
and here’s $1,000 (Sh103,900),’ you can understand how difficult it is”.
Like most people, Valentine is confident that Marrian will be
released but thinks that it may take time for him to be cleared. The figure
bandied around by Marrian’s friends in Kenya is three years, a period during
which Marrian cannot work or leave the country. “My guess is that he’ll get
off,” says Valentine. “The Kenyans have been under a lot of pressure from the US
for not doing anything about the narcotics trade, so I can see why they might
have arrested him. It’s a high-profile case — they wanted to be seen to be
reacting to it. But now there’s a bit of embarrassment and loss of face”.
The other current issue in Kenya is security, with tourism
still suffering after kidnappings of visitors along the coast in 2011. The
British Foreign Office still advises against all but essential travel to
certain parts of the coastline and areas close to the Somalian border.
“I arrived in Nairobi the day Westgate happened,” says Sandip
Patel, an Old Harrovian who moved to Kenya to work in the textile business.
Patel still shops there, whereas established expats, he says, tend to avoid it.
He’s sanguine about security. “If you get robbed, it’s probably 3am, you’re a
bit pissed and in a dodgy area. It’s the same in London. Worse, actually. I’ve
had a knife pulled on me twice at home”.
And while some expats are gloomy about the security situation
and the threat of unrest over the upcoming presidential election, Patel is
optimistic about Kenya, and will shortly be opening a ‘Nikki Beach’-style club
on the coast in Diani, south of Mombasa.
There is, he says, a pulsating social life in the capital: “I
went out in Westlands, a big expat area, and out of 20 under-35s, 16 were Old
Etonians or Harrovians. All in chinos and shirts. If you go to the Purdy Arms
on a Saturday night, you wonder, ‘Am I in Kenya or am I in Fulham?’”
Like many other expats, Patel says the 21st-century pioneers
making inroads into Kenya are the Chinese, who are cutting huge energy and
transport deals with the Kenyan government. “People are very unhappy with the
influx of Chinese workers,” says Juliet Barnes, a white Kenyan who is writing?
a book about the Delameres. “It’s believed they are partly responsible for the
increase in poaching. But Kenya’s an extraordinary country. So I daresay we’ll
end up being friends with the Chinese as well.”
Meanwhile, the Marrian and Monson families await their
respective verdicts. “Britain and Kenya have always had a dysfunctional
relationship,” says Lord Monson. And, like most dysfunctional relationships,
this one will take time to sort out.


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